So, a few days ago I'm sitting in my hair stylist's chair, getting a much needed trim. She attends our church; she and her husband are friends of ours. But, we're still getting acquainted, and the time I sit in her chair is a good opportunity to explore God, life and relationships. My wife, Laura, generally goes along with me, so, our friend cuts, I sit still and we talk.
Snipping a half inch of now salt and pepper hair from the top of my head, she opened a new topic. "So, Mark, what's your prayer life like?"
Now, it's not that I mind moving the relationship along and sharing core essentials, but this is a question I've done a considerable amount of thinking, teaching... and, yes, prayer about lately. I've taught a workshop about discipleship where we explore the nuances of prayer and other "spiritual disciplines".
I'm not terrible unique in my thoughts on prayer, I just have some. And they don't necessarily jive with a traditional model of daily "quiet time". Suddenly, I realized that I was much more comfortable facilitating questions and discussions in a workshop than I was hearing this question of me - from my hair stylist.
I thought, "This woman is a member of our church. Her husband has been to John Eldredge's Wild at Heart bootcamp more than once. I'm her pastor." Then I thought, "What if my answer sounds un-spiritual?" I know better. Why the antsy jitter while her sharp shears (Stylists don't call them scissors, they're shears. Make a note.) rakes my hair?
But, I answered. "I'd describe it as pretty conversational. I don't always pray for a certain period of time every day. But, Laura will tell you that for the first half hour or more that I'm up, I'm pretty quiet, rather withdrawn. I'm talking with God as I shower, dress and try to make my messy hair style look perfectly messy (it's a sad reality). Then, throughout the day, as I drive, pause in my office, reflect on a phone call or conversation, prepare for a meeting or the drive home, I talk with God. There are pauses throughout the day to talk and listen. Although, lately, I'm realizing that I need some chunks of a half day or a day to call time out and meet with Jesus, so I'm getting those back on my calendar. That's pretty much how I go about prayer."
Then I waited. Would she gasp and slice a hunk of hair from the front of my head? Would she stop and pray for me right there? Would she tell me she's not surprised I'm not more spiritual?
"That pretty much describes my prayer life, too. Conversational for seasons, then, more focused and 'time out' for a season."
Funny. I want people to get this relationship thing with God. I want to help them understand that our approaches to conversation with him - both talking and listening - are diverse. And, that's okay. But, put on the spot with no place to hide, I feared that my prayer life would call my "maturity", my spiritual thermometer into question.
That's one great challenge in our pursuit of God. We're still so prone to comparing our God-experience with others around us. We're still prone to measure our relationship - not by the fruit of life-change and love in our relationship with people - but by the practices that produce such fruit.
Jesus is the point. His point is love. And love wins.
(P.S. - There's a great one-page article in the Nov-Dec 2005 issue of Relevant magazine. Kyle Lake, author and pastor of University Baptist Church in Waco, Texas, sums it up well. The new issue isn't on line yet, so you'll have to get the hard copy. Page 82)
